Lesson 2: Don't be That Listener

     Let me start by saying that college is not for the weak. I have left everything I’ve ever known behind. Family, friends, town, job, absolutely everything. But it’s a new start—a new beginning. I’ve been at Uni for about 3 weeks and learned many things. The one thing I want to share the most is the fact that people are terrible listeners.

     Uni is a mix of thousands of people and during your first week, everyone asks the same three questions. What’s your name, where are you from, and what’s your major? You meet tons of different personalities all of which have one intention: talking about themselves. It’s no surprise that people enjoy talking about their hobbies, stories, and other miscellaneous things. I mean after all; I also asked the big three questions. So, is it my fault? Did I open the conversation up to knowing their life story? Well, what about when they ask you the big three first? You give people your basic info to break the ice, but you can’t even finish your sentence before they butt in with a response about their personal experience with whatever you just said. It’s this idea that people will always be thinking about what to say in response to what you’re currently saying. It’s responding without hearing.

     Now, it gets incredibly annoying how you always seem to be listening and never speaking. But that’s the thing! However annoying it may be, it is your superpower! By listening to people spew these random facts you’re able to sift through the people who are genuine vs those who are disingenuous. You’ll quickly learn to forget the 20 sum girls from Orange County whose spray tans match their bright orange Lululemon shorts. The people you will remember are the ones who heard you before responding.

     I’ve read many studies about the wonders of listening and how to be a proper listener. The one thing I’ve seen the most is the fact that great listeners will engage with what you say. Asking questions about YOURSELF and not immediately relating themselves. Great listeners provide you with eye contact and engaging body language because it shows you that they care.

     The main thing I want to say is that patience is your virtue. People may be shitty listeners, but that doesn’t mean you have to be! Through listening I have met an amazing group of girls who have also taken the time to listen to me. I suggest that you take time out of your day today to listen to someone. Engage with someone. Ask them about their day. Truly show them that you care because, in a world of shitty listeners, that person just might need a pair of ears.